


Past

by sugarandspace



Series: Flufftober 2018 Drabbles [19]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e06 Iron Sisters, Fluff, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Second Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 23:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Alec's thoughts during the famous "I'm all for effort" scene





	Past

**Author's Note:**

> ...yeah
> 
> This is late but I have a good reason, I spent the whole afternoon and night yesterday baking and cleaning and didn't have time to write. So again, two fics tonight!

“Magnus,” Alec starts, hesitant to say what he’s thinking, but knowing that he has to. “Do you think maybe we're too-”

“Different?” Magnus continues when Alec finds it difficult to find the right word. The word is fitting, and apparently Magnus thinks so too. Alec sighs before he replies.

“Yeah.”

“We're from totally different worlds,” Magnus states the obvious. Alec is a Shadowhunter while Magnus is a Downworlder, their backgrounds couldn’t be more different.

“Different centuries,” Alec says, not sure what he’s supposed to do or say now. This is not how he imagined the night to end. Of course he knew about Magnus’ reputation, and he hadn’t and never would judge him because of it. But after learning about just how many people he’s been with in the past, Alec can’t help but feel defeated and so inexperienced. 

“Look, I - I should go,” Alec says and turns to leave, walking back towards the door before he stops. This feels wrong. He feels so done with the pressure, of letting expectations rule his life. He’s learning to make decisions based on what he thinks is right and what he wants, and sure, there must be past lovers Magnus has had that Alec couldn’t measure up to on some things, but will he let that ruin what they could have?

He makes up his mind and turns around, walking back to where Magnus is standing with his back to Alec. “Look, I don't care how many people you've been with.”

It’s not the complete truth, it is still a bit daunting to know how much more experience and experiences Magnus has, but he’s determined that he won’t let it be a factor that comes between them. 

“I don't care how many people you haven't been with,” Magnus says after shaking away the small shock he had fallen into after Alec’s sudden change of mind. The words help reassuring Alec’s mind that is going a hundred miles a minute. 

Alec knows what he wants to do but he hesitates. He gathers his courage for a moment before he moves, stepping closer with a hint of same determination he had the last time, when he kissed Magnus at his wedding. 

This kiss is different, there’s no audience and Alec doesn’t need to worry about what everyone will say when he reveals his biggest secret. But kissing Magnus is still new, still kind of scary. But also something Alec is so happy to be able to do.

“I heard that-” Alec starts, trying to regain his composure after the brief kiss. “-relationships they um, take effort.”

“I’m all for effort,” Magnus replies.

Maybe they could make this work. Alec is certainly ready to give this a chance, and he’s happy to know that Magnus is too.


End file.
